Illness and Togetherness - Laura Williams
Relationships: My Aunt Margo
My 97 year old Aunt Margo moved in with me a few months ago. We moved her bedroom furniture into the guest room and supplied the bathroom with her towels and toiletries to create familiar surroundings. She’s cheerful and appreciative. 95% of the time it’s just fine; 5% of the time it’s really, really hard.
Living with someone with dementia means every day is a new day! I have a poster that reads: “Living With Dementia: Agree, never argue. Divert, never reason. Distract, never shame. Reassure, never lecture. Reinforce, never force. Ask, never demand. Say I love you, a lot.” Words to live by. Life lessons.
Aunt Margo loves two things more than almost anything: basketball and Rummikub®. She watched the NCAA tournament and now the NBA playoffs, and I may never erase the DVR! She hasn’t caught on yet that she’s watched the game before and as long as it’s a close game, it’s a good one. Rummikub® is almost an obsession. She’d rather play than eat. She’s competitive and often wins but just as often there are times she questions the rules and says it looks like it will be a fun game when she learns how to play. Enjoying the moment anyway.
She spends most of her days in the recliner that also helps her stand and she depends on her walker to shuffle from room to room. So far, it feels safe enough to leave her alone for an hour or so, but she has begun to wander around the house when I’m out on my afternoon walks. I returned one time to find her walker in the kitchen, the counter covered in cookie crumbs and Margo comfortably reclining in her chair.
When I was little, I spent days with her traveling around the tobacco markets where she worked as a bookkeeper. She doesn’t remember those times; nor does she recall the more important events in her life. But every night she gives me a hug, smiles and says, “It’s been a good day!”
