Ending a Relationship - Rey Smith

When I saw the email requesting articles on “Relationships,” I quickly deleted it. I’m definitely not one to share my feelings on relationships in public, let alone in writing. But when Geneva Reid stops you in the hall at church and directly asks you to write one, it’s hard to say “NO.” So here I sit, in front of my laptop with no clue what to say.

Mike and I met quite by happenstance—he was just coming out of a very closeted relationship of 15 years with a partner who died, and I had just recently moved to the area and was looking to meet new folks. When Mike contacted me, I just knew this was someone I’d never want a relationship with. But I also knew because he was closeted, he had no one to talk with about his loss and pain. I felt everyone needed someone to talk with during a time like that. So I befriended Mike, and we began to talk, first by email, then by phone, and finally we met.

We soon found we had quite a bit in common and slowly but surely we grew into a relationship. During our first 2 to 3 years together we spent a good bit of time talking about his loss, the emotions related to that as well as all of the emotions and feelings related to coming out. I offered support and encouragement all along the way. As time went on, however, we began talking about our deeper values and beliefs and it became clear that we were miles apart on most topics. That began to put a serious strain on our relationship. A tumultuous election season didn’t help one bit.

Five and a half years after it started, sadly our relationship ended. I firmly believe God puts some people together for a lifetime. But in our case, I feel he put us together for a reason, for a season.

I truly hope Mike finds that special person to fill all his needs in abundance and they live healthy and happy for many years to come.

But I’m not at all certain I’ll look to meet that one person, opting instead to have my friends and family fill that spot in my life.